How to build confidence.

 

I remember looking at singers who seemed so confident and wondering, Why can't I just do that?

 

From the outside, I looked like someone who should feel confident.

 

I was on Broadway, doing the thing I had dreamed about for years.

 

But inside?

 

It felt hard.

 

Not fun.

 

My “strategy” was basically crossing my fingers and toes and hoping for the best.

 

I was full of self-doubt.

 

Constantly second-guessing myself.

 

Wondering when I’d finally relax and actually enjoy what I had worked so hard for.

 

What I didn’t realize at the time was this:

 

Struggling with confidence doesn’t mean you lack talent or potential.

 

It just means you haven’t been given the right tools yet.

  

What confidence actually is (and isn’t)

 

Confidence is not:

 

• always liking the sound of your voice

 

• feeling fearless before you sing

 

• pretending you know you “nailed it”

  

If that were true, confident singers wouldn’t exist because every singer experiences doubt. 

 

Confidence actually is:

 

• knowing how to respond when judgment shows up

 

• having a voice that feels increasingly reliable in your body

 

• being able to hear feedback without collapsing into shame

 

In other words, confidence isn’t a personality trait.

 

It’s a skill that’s built over time.

 

Here’s something that often gets left out of the confidence conversation:

 

Confidence grows when your voice becomes more dependable.

 

That comes from:

  

👉🏻 regular, structured practice

👉🏻 learning how your voice works specifically

👉🏻 mastering technique so your body isn’t fighting you

👉🏻 gradually exposing yourself to being heard (safely, incrementally)

 

This is why working with a voice teacher can be so powerful.

 

A good teacher helps you:

 

• eliminate unnecessary tension
• build consistent breath support
• understand what’s actually happening when something feels “off”
• stop guessing and start making informed choices  

When your voice responds the way you expect it to more often than not, your nervous system relaxes.

 

And that is where confidence starts to grow.

 

One tool that helps almost everyone: SOVTs

 

Voice training is deeply individual, but there are a few tools that are beneficial for the vast majority of singers.

 

One of the biggest?

 
SOVT exercises (Semi-Occluded Vocal Tract exercises).

 

Things like:

 

✔️ straw phonation (includes: in and out of water and with different sized straws)

✔️ lip trills

✔️ tongue out trills

✔️ blowfish (a personal favorite!)

✔️ gentle voiced fricatives

 

SOVTs are:

-incredibly efficient & gentle: they reduce impact stress

-very safe for the voice 

-grounding for the nervous system 

-amazing for reducing tension 

-supportive of healthy breath coordination 

-they help your voice find balance without forcing or pushing

- build and strengthen

 

In a nut shell: your vocal cords begin to behave OPTIMALLY.

 

This is why I love sharing SOVTs widely!! They meet you where you are and help your voice feel more trustworthy from the inside out.

 

This is also one of the reasons SOVT exercises are such a gift for feeling more confident.

 

They don’t ask you to:

• make a big sound
• “perform”
• impress anyone
• evaluate whether you sound good or bad 

And because of that…

there isn’t much for the inner critic to pick apart.

 

Many singers notice that when they’re doing SOVTs, the mental noise quiets down. 

  

You can tune out, get centered, and simply be with your voice instead of judging it. 

  

In that way, SOVTs can become a kind of a meditation…a break from analysis and self-critique.

  

Now… here’s where things usually shift 👉🏻

 

As soon as we move from SOVTs into open-vowel warmups & songs, that’s when the inner critic loves to jump back in.

 
😩 Is this right?
😬 Why does that sound weird?
☹️ I should be farther along by now.
😖 What if I sound bad?

 

And this is the moment where confidence often collapses…not because something is actually wrong, but because we haven’t been taught how to work with that voice instead of fighting it.

 

Many singers confuse that voice as TRUTH.

 

They are blindly led by that voice.

 

That’s the missing piece.

 

Confidence isn’t about silencing doubt- it’s about first knowing whose voice is whose and once you name that voice, how to lead when it shows up. 🔥

  

That’s why I put together a FREE resource to support you here.

  

A free guide to help you build confidence while you sing

 

It's called: A Practical Guide to Confidant Singing

 

Inside, we will:

 

🙌🏻 Create safety in your body and environment so confidence feels accessible

🧐 Tell the difference between helpful feedback and the inner critic so you're being led by the right voice.

🫶🏻 Work with your inner voices instead of fighting or silencing them so you can utilize their gifts and let go of the not so helpful stuff. 

😆Build confidence through small, repeatable moments (yes — even 2 minutes counts)

🤩 Create and implement an action plan that creates trust with yourself and voice so you can finally step into the shoes of that confident singer you dream of being.

 

This isn’t about fixing yourself.

 

It’s about better leadership, better tools, and better internal support.

 

You can download A Practical Guide to Confident Singing HERE.