Why I Stopped Taking Voice Lessons

 

There’s something I wish I had learned much earlier as a singer:

 

Your teacher can be an incredible resource without becoming the authority over your voice. 

 

I learned this one the hard way.

 

In my early 30s, after more than 15 years of regularly studying voice, I stopped taking lessons for a while.

 

At the time, all I knew was I needed a break.

 

But looking back, I can see what was really happening.

 

I had become overly reliant on outside input.

 

I was filtering so much of my singing through other people’s eyes:

 

Am I doing this right?
Does my teacher like what I’m doing?
Did I do what they asked?
Do I sound good?
What should I be working on? 

 

I was so focused on getting the “right” answer that I wasn't always listening to my experience.

 

And I think this happens to a lot of us singers.

 

Especially if you’re someone who really wants to do well and has pleasing tendencies. 

 

Here’s the problem with that:

 

Nobody else can feel what your voice and body are experiencing from the inside. 

 

Your teacher can hear things you can't hear.

 

They can see things you can't see.

 

They can bring knowledge, experience, perspective, and expertise that you don't have.

 

That's incredibly valuable.

 

But you are the expert on your experience. 

 

And I think the goal of voice study is not to become dependent on someone else's feedback forever.

 

The goal is to become increasingly capable of listening to yourself.

 

So what does that actually look like?

 

Here are three questions you can ask youself when you practice:

 

1. What am I noticing? 

 

Instead of immediately deciding whether something is “good” or “bad,” get curious.

 

Does this feel freer?

 

Does it feel easier?

 

Does something feel more coordinated?

 

Do I notice tension?

 

You're gathering information rather than grading yourself.

 

2. What does my voice need today? 

 

Your voice doesn't necessarily need the same thing every day.

 

Maybe today you need extra gentle warmups.

 

Maybe you need to work on flexibility exercises, something that is moving your voice.

 

Maybe you need to sing something that feels really good.

 

Maybe you need to rest.

 

Maybe you need to experiment.

 

The question isn't:

 

“What am I supposed to do?” 

 

Try:

 

“What do I need right now?” 

 

3. What happens if I try something different? 

 

(This is where becoming your own teacher gets really interesting!)

 

Try something.

 

Listen.

 

Notice what happens.

 

Adjust.

 

Try again.

 

You don't have to get it right immediately.

 

You're developing a relationship with your instrument.

 

And that relationship requires curiosity.

 

One important distinction...

 

Learning to trust yourself does not mean believing every thought you have about your singing.

 

Your inner critic might say:

 

"Don't sing that high note. You're going to sound terrible." 

 

That's not necessarily intuition.

 

Intuition can actually ask you to do something uncomfortable.

 

It might say:

 

Stay with this. 

Try it another way. 

Something about that feels freer. 

I think there's something here. 

 

Intuition is quieter.

 

It's curious.

 

It notices.

 

It doesn't need to shame you into doing better.

 

And the more you practice listening, the easier it becomes to distinguish that quieter voice from the noise.

 

This is something I wish I had understood much earlier.

 

When I stopped taking lessons, I sang a lot. 

 

I experimented.

 

I recorded myself.

 

I sang music I wouldn't normally sing.

 

I made weird noises. 

 

I tried different warmups.

 

I paid attention to what felt good.

 

And instead of immediately asking, “Is this correct?” 

 

I started asking:

 

“What am I discovering?” 

 

That shift changed my relationship with my voice.

 

And when I eventually returned to working with teachers, something had changed.

 

I wasn't looking to them to tell me who I was as a singer.

 

I could bring my own observations, questions, discoveries, and opinions into the room.

 

The relationship became a partnership.

 

That’s the goal.

 

Your teacher brings expertise you don't have.

You bring expertise about your own experience. 

 

You need both.

 

So the next time you're practicing, try this:

 

Instead of giving yourself a grade, become a detective.

 

Listen, notice, get curious.

 

Ask better questions.

 

And see what your own voice has to tell you.

 

Because becoming your own teacher doesn't mean knowing everything.

 

It means becoming curious enough to listen.

 

And ultimately...

 

The goal isn't to stop listening to other people. 

 

It's to stop outsourcing your knowing. 

 

If you'd like to hear the whole story, including what I discovered during that period away from voice lessons and how it changed the way I approach singing and teaching today, I talked all about it in this week's episode of The Joyful Singer Podcast. 

You can listen HERE.

 

(This was also when I was pregnant and I learned something interesting things about my voice and body during that time!)

 

And then…..in your next singing session....afterwards try asking:

 

What did I learn about my voice today? 

 

Not Was I good? 

Not Did I get it right? 

 

Just...

What did I learn? 

 

Hope this helps!

 

As always, would love to hear what you think!