You are not alone.

Wow!! Thank you.

 

I sent a newsletter recently asking what you’re struggling with most right now when it comes to singing and so many of you replied with your personal stories with such honesty, vulnerability, and a whole lotta heart. 

 

I read every single one and I feel so honored that you shared what you did with me.

 

There were very clear patterns.

 

Most of what you shared fits into one of these 4 core themes:

 

1. Confidence + self-trust  

• “I’m struggling with confidence.”
• “I feel disconnected from my voice.”
• “I second-guess myself constantly.”

 

2. Consistency 

• Practicing without an external deadline feels hard.
• Motivation comes and goes.
• When it’s just you, it’s easy to drift or avoid.

 

3. The inner critic vs. helpful feedback 

• Not knowing how to listen to yourself without spiraling.
• Feeling like every practice session turns into self-judgment.
• As a result, lack of joy in your singing.

 

4. Technical setbacks or fear after illness 

• Desire for more power & strength in your voice
• Voices that don’t feel the same after being sick.
• Loss of range, stamina, or trust in what your voice can do now.

 

If you see yourself in any of these, please hear me:

 

You are not alone.

And nothing has gone “wrong” with you.

 

These are incredibly common struggles! 

 

I want to support you, help you with what you are struggling with. I've been there myself! I GET IT.

 

I’m working on something behind the scenes over here, a new free offering, so be on the lookout for that.

 

But in the meantime, here’s what I want to offer you today:

 

Not a quick fix that isn’t going to result in change. (Let’s be honest, this kind of work takes time.)

Not a “push through it” pep talk.

Instead, a reframe and some tips for taking small, gentle steps forward.

 

 

Ok. First, the reframe:

 

Most singers don’t struggle because they don’t care enough or aren’t “disciplined” enough. 

 

They struggle because they don’t feel safe inside the act of singing.

 

You try to show up for your voice, but there are real obstacles in the way.

 

When practice becomes:

• judgment-heavy
• longer than what you are realistically able to commit to
• goal driven only 
• disconnected from your body (how’s it feeling in there, what are you noticing, what is coming up)
• driven by fear of getting it wrong

 

…it makes total sense that consistency disappears and confidence erodes.

 

Your system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do: protect you.

 

So now that we have that out of the way, let's explore possible solutions for what you might be struggling with.

 

 

A few supportive shifts (not homework)

 

👉🏻 If confidence is the issue:

Confidence isn’t the absence of doubt.

It’s knowing how to stay with yourself when doubt shows up.

 

So listen, most singers who are struggling with confidence are doing this one not-so-helpful thing:

 

They’re critiquing themselves while they sing.

 

Am I in tune?
Do I sound good?
Is this right?

 

That constant self-monitoring pulls your attention away from presence, from being IN your body, being in the world of the song. The self-monitoring makes singing feel less stable.

 

A supportive shift is this:

 

Instead of asking, “Is this good?”
 

 

Ask, “What do I notice?” & " How does this feel in my body?"

 

Confidence grows when you practice:

 

• staying connected to physical sensation while singing
• letting sound move through you without immediate evaluation
• allowing phrases to complete before assessing anything

 

This builds trust in real time, not later in your head.

 

Over time, your nervous system learns:
“I can stay present and keep singing.”

 

That’s confidence.

 

👉🏻 If consistency is hard:

 

Try shrinking the commitment until it feels almost too easy.

 

5 minutes 3-4 times a week. (Or 2 minutes! Or 30 seconds!!) One song. One check-in. Consistency grows from safety, not pressure. Make consistency your goal, NOT intensity. Show up more frequently with quicker checkins rather than marathon sessions once in a blue moon.

 

* Note: If you are struggle with calling yourself a singer, don’t wait until you feel like one to start. Show up NOW in these small ways so that you CAN begin to identify as a singer, so that it reinforces that you are in fact a singer. This will also help with the first category: confidence!

 

👉🏻 If your voice feels “different” after illness:

Your voice may need extra love right now. It needs reconnection before it needs correction.

Gentle listening, compassion, and patience rebuild trust faster than forcing high notes, power, or getting back to where you were, (as my son used to say when he as little), ADmediately. 😉

 

Don’t expect your voice to immediately return to how it felt before. I know this is hard. SO HARD.

 

Patience and love are what you need right now. That and also SOVT exercises!! (There is a free video warmup with more info on this in your FREE Joyful Singing Starter Kit. Start there.)

 

👉🏻 If strength and power is the issue:

 

Try shifting from:

 

"I need to push harder.”

 

To:

 

“How can I support my voice where it is right now?”

 

Ask:

• Can I sing lighter and stay connected?
• Can I focus on ease and clarity before volume?
• Can I let strength grow as a byproduct of trust?

 

Also, begin to notice the times in your life when making “bigger”, more open, relaxed sounds happens naturally, without you even thinking about it. Spontaneous big sounds that aren’t pushed. 

 

As you begin to become aware of these moments you can connect it singing! (Times like when you might be calling for your kids, or laughing, any kind up spontaneous eruption… you’ll notice how the right kind of effort, the right kind of support, the right kind of relaxing and letting go happens naturally.)

 

Also- moving from an SOVT exercise directly into bigger sounds can be a helpful trick to free up tension! (again, check out that Joyful Singing Starter Kit you signed up for, if you never received it, check your spam folder or get it HERE. 

 

 

👉🏻 If the inner critic runs the session:

This critic voice is not the enemy, but it also shouldn’t be running the meeting.

Learning how to hear it and give it love without obeying it is a skill. One that can be practiced.

 

• notice the voice without acting on it.
• tell the difference between helpful feedback and harsh judgment
• keep singing while the doubt is present

 

When you learn how to lead yourself with steadiness and compassion, something shifts:

 

You stop waiting to feel confident before you sing…

 

and start trusting yourself inside the act of singing.

 

👉🏻 If you are experiencing lack of joy:

 

This is one I see all the time, and it’s rarely about your actual voice.

 

It’s usually about why you are singing.

 

When singing becomes ONLY something you’re doing to improve, to fix, or to get back to where you used to be... it's starts to not be fun.

 

Create protected space to sing just for you- not to perform, not to assess, not to post, not to prove anything.

 

 

This might look like:

 

• singing when no one is listening (including your inner audience)
• choosing songs you love, not songs you think you “should” sing
• letting yourself repeat the same song over and over because it feels good
• stopping before you’re tired or frustrated, not after

 

Joy comes back when singing reconnects you to pleasure, play, and meaning, not productivity.

 

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your singing is simply to let it be something that feeds you again.

 

 

All this feedback has been so helpful and has gotten me thinking and brainstorming!

 

I’ll be sharing this free, new offering with you very soon!

 

I also plan to expand on each of these topics in future newsletters, so another reason to look forward to my emails on Wednesday at 11am ET. ☺️

 

In the meantime, thank you again for trusting me with your stories!! 

 

They matter and YOU matter.