A love letter to the anxious performer.

Performance anxiety is one of the most common—and yet most isolating—experiences a singer can face.

It doesn’t matter how trained you are, how much you love to sing, or how often people tell you you’re good at it—when that tightness creeps in, when your breath won’t settle, when your hands shake or your voice feels like it’s hiding from you… it can feel like you're the only one who struggles.

And that right there—that aloneness—is often the most painful part.

So many singers I work with carry a deep shame around performance anxiety. A quiet fear that says:

👉🏻 “I shouldn’t feel this way.”

👉🏻 “Real singers don’t get like this.”

👉🏻 “If I were really good, this wouldn’t happen.”

Let me tell you: none of that is true.

Performance anxiety isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that you care.

You care deeply about your music, your expression, your voice being received.

You care about being seen and heard and understood.

And somewhere along the way, your nervous system learned to treat that vulnerable act of sharing like danger.

That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

What is dangerous, though, is believing the lie that you’re alone in it. That you have to “fix yourself” before you’re allowed to show up and sing.

Boy, do I know it well.

When I was performing in the Broadway revival of A Little Night Music, every single night backstage, I would quietly pray to just make it through.

Not to soar. Not to impress. Just to survive without falling apart.

And I felt so much shame about that.

Surely by then—after all my training, all my experience—I should have “figured it out,” right?

I felt weak. Broken. Like I was the only one struggling behind the curtain.

But I wasn’t. And neither are you.

You’re not falling apart.

You’re tender. Brave. Sensitive. Alive.

The truth is, so many of us are carrying this. Quietly, privately, white-knuckling our way through performances, comparing ourselves to singers who seem “effortless” (see my last blog!), and wondering why we’re the only ones who feel like we’re about to fall apart.

But you’re not the only one. And there’s nothing wrong with you.

There are ways to meet performance anxiety with care, curiosity, and compassion.

You can learn to sing from a place that feels safe inside your own body.

You can build a new relationship with your nerves—not by forcing them away, but by gently making space for them.

It starts with dropping the shame. With telling the truth. With remembering that you are so not alone.

Here’s what I know now:

Performance anxiety isn’t a flaw.

It’s not something you “grow out of” if you’re good enough.

It’s your nervous system trying to protect you from what it perceives as threat: the vulnerability of being seen, heard, and felt.

And what it needs—what you need—is not more pressure to “get over it.”

You need care. Tools. A new relationship with your voice, your body, and your sense of safety in expression.

That’s exactly what we do inside A Course in Joyful Singing.

This course is for the sensitive singers. The ones who feel deeply.

Who light up inside when they sing—but who also sometimes freeze, shake, or spiral in doubt.

We don’t ignore those parts of you—we welcome them.

In this program, we gently unwind the shame, the perfectionism, and the fear that keeps you small.

We rebuild your confidence in a way that feels grounded and easeful.

And we explore mindset, voice support, and creative expression—not just for the stage, but for your whole self.

So if you’ve ever thought:

“Why am I still dealing with this?”

“Maybe I’m not cut out for this…”

“Everyone else seems fine—what’s wrong with me?”

Please hear this: you are not alone.

You are not broken. And there is another way.

You can learn to sing—and perform—from a place of joy, connection, and true safety.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Let me know how I can help! I'd love to hear from you!

Erin

PS If you care to join us over in A Course in Joyful Singing, get this discount for the next 3 days only!