Selfish Singing.

I used to think singing “for myself” sounded… indulgent. 

Like a luxury. 

Something you were only allowed to do once you’d earned it…after I proved myself.

Well, a few years ago, in the depths of the pandemic I realized how much I missed simply singing. 

Not preparing for a performance, not recording something perfect, not trying to “stay relevant.” 

Just singing.

So I started a little personal challenge: once a week, I’d record myself singing a song I loved and post it.

No big deal, no agenda… just a moment of connecting to my own voice.

It was honestly one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done.

When you’ve spent years singing for an audience it can be surprisingly hard to remember what it feels like to sing just for you.

Just because you want to. 

To sing for no reason other than the pure joy of it.

Here’s what I’ve learned: singing for you isn’t selfish.

It’s essential.

IT’S EVERYTHING.

Doing this small challenge, I was given freedom to sing WHATEVER I wanted. I sang showtunes I’d never had the chance to perform, jazz standards I’d forgotten I loved, even songs I wasn’t “right” for in the traditional sense. 

And I shared the process- imperfections and all.

Something shifted in me.

I stopped waiting for permission.

And the funny thing? That simple practice of singing for me ended up leading to some of the most creative and fulfilling work of my life. 

Out of those weekly videos came a series of concerts my husband and I wrote and performed together: music that felt true to both of us.

It was deeply personal, authentic, and empowering in a way I hadn’t experienced before.

I reconnected to MY why.

It’s easy to lose sight of your why you sing, especially if your voice has ever been tied to achievement or external validation.

Maybe you were praised for your talent as a kid, and you learned to chase that feeling.

Maybe you’ve been trained to always think about the “audience experience.”

Maybe you’ve been told your voice only has value if it meets a certain standard.

But your voice doesn’t exist to meet anyone else’s expectations.

Your voice exists because it’s yours.

Because you have something inside you that wants to be expressed-  in your way, on your terms.

When you realign with that truth, singing stops feeling like a performance and starts feeling like a relationship- one that’s creative, curious, and deeply personal.

If this resonates, here are a few questions to journal on or sit with this week:

• When do I feel most joyful while singing?
• What songs make me feel alive regardless of how “good” I sound?
• What would it look like to create a singing practice that’s just for me?
• Where am I still trying to “earn” my right to sing? 

You might be surprised how much clarity comes when you start making choices based on your joy, instead of someone else’s idea of success.

This week, I invite you to do one small thing that brings singing back to you.

-Maybe that means singing a song your heart is longing to sing

-Maybe it means recording something just for fun.

-Maybe it means turning off the camera altogether and letting yourself play without witnesses.

Whatever you choose:

Let it be yours.

Because when you make singing for you, it ripples out.

The opportunities all start to feel easier, more aligned, more natural.

But it starts here, with your own joy.

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