The voice that *almost* kept me from singing.

At some point in my singing career, I realized something was off.

 

It wasn't as fun as it used to be. 

 

The energy I was bringing towards my singing wasn't particularly encouraging.

 

In fact, it was pretty negative.

 

I noticed that whenever I would sing, the voice inside my head would say it was never good enough.

 

When that started, I'm not sure.

 

But it got to the point where I felt done.

 

I felt done because of that voice.

 

You know which one I'm talking about it.

 

The voice that notices every mistake.

 

The voice that says:

 

"You should be farther along by now."

 

"You used to sound better."

 

"You're not ready."

 

"Who do you think you are?"

 

For a long time, I assumed that voice was telling me the truth.

 

But what I've come to realize both through my own experience and through working with hundreds of singers, is that the inner critic is rarely interested in truth.

 

It's interested in protection.

 

It wants certainty.

 

It wants guarantees.

 

It wants to keep us from embarrassment, rejection, disappointment, and vulnerability.

 

The problem?

 

The very things it tries to protect us from are often the things that help us grow.

 

I recently had the opportunity to be a guest on Jenny Smith's podcast, You're Not Crazy! It's Perimenopause, and we spent a lot of time talking about this.

 

About confidence.

 

About self-doubt.

 

About what happens when women reach midlife and suddenly find themselves questioning things they used to feel certain about.

 

This conversation isn't just about singing... it's about being human.

 

Because whether you're a seasoned professional singer, if you're thinking about taking voice lessons, joining a choir, singing in public, starting a new project, speaking up more, or simply allowing yourself to take up a little more space in your own life...

 

the inner critic tends to show up.

 

And it's sneaky.

 

Sometimes it sounds harsh.

 

Sometimes it sounds practical.

 

Sometimes it disguises itself as "being realistic."

 

But the result is often the same:

 

We stay smaller than we want to be.

 

One of my favorite moments from the conversation was talking about a simple question we can ask ourselves when we catch the inner critic running the show.

 

Instead of asking:

 

"What's wrong with me?"

 

Try asking:

 

"What is right?"

 

What's right about my voice?

 

What's right about where I am today?

 

What's right about the fact that I'm still here, still growing, still learning, still showing up?

 

Because wherever we place our attention..... grows.

 

If we're constantly scanning for flaws, we'll find them.

 

But if we begin looking for strengths, possibilities, resilience, courage, progress, and beauty...

 

we'll find those too.

 

I see this all the time.

 

Someone will tell me everything that's wrong with their voice in the first five minutes.

 

And then, when we start exploring what's actually working, they discover things they couldn't hear before.

  

The truth is that most of us don't need more criticism.

 

We need more compassion.

 

More curiosity.

 

More encouragement.

 

More willingness to meet ourselves where we are.

 

That's where growth actually can begin to happen.

 

So this week, I have a little invitation for you:

 

Notice the voice in your head.

 

Not to judge it.

 

Just to notice it.

 

And when it starts telling you all the reasons you can't, shouldn't, or aren't enough...

 

See if you can answer with kindness instead.

 

The same kindness you'd offer a dear friend.

 

You deserve that too.

 

 

I had such a wonderful conversation with Jenny Smith on her podcast, You're Not Crazy! It's Perimenopause. We talked about confidence, self-doubt, the inner critic, finding your voice in midlife, and why it's never too late to pursue what lights you up. I'd love for you to listen! I share our conversation this week on The Joyful Singer: LISTEN HERE