When you are stuck in DIY Mode.

For a long time, I believed that if I was going to be successful at something, I ultimately needed to figure it out by myself.

There was always this underlying belief that asking for help somehow meant I wasn't capable enough.

That if I were smart enough, talented enough, disciplined enough, confident enough... I would just know what to do.

So I spent a lot of years trying to figure things out on my own.

Even in school settings, the idea of asking a question in class felt hard.

A few years ago, I decided I wanted to learn more about creating online courses and growing my business.

I joined a program that included live coaching calls.

I was terrified.

Not mildly nervous.

Terrified.

The thought of attending those calls made my stomach flip.

The thought of raising my hand and asking a question?

Absolutely not.

At least that's what I told myself.

I remember sitting there listening to people ask questions and thinking:

"They probably already know more than I do."

"What if I sound foolish?"

"What if my question is stupid?"

"What if everyone realizes I have no idea what I'm doing?"

Sound familiar?

Because I hear versions of those same fears from singers all the time.

What if I'm not good enough?

What if I embarrass myself?

What if everyone else is farther along than I am?

What if I fail?

One day, despite all the shaking and sweating and overthinking, I raised my hand.

I asked my question.

And then I did it again.

And again.

And again.

Each time it became a little easier.

Little by little, I became more comfortable speaking in front of that group.

Little by little, my confidence grew.

Little by little, I stopped feeling like I had to figure everything out by myself.

What I discovered was something I wish I had learned much sooner:

Growth happens faster when you're supported.

Not because someone else does the work for you.

But because you're no longer trying to climb the mountain alone.

You have people cheering you on.

You have people reminding you what's possible.

You have people who understand exactly what you're going through because they're going through it too.

And honestly, I think singers are especially vulnerable to isolation.

We spend so much time alone.

Practicing alone.

Worrying alone.

Questioning ourselves alone.

Trying to solve every problem alone.

We convince ourselves that everyone else has it figured out.

Meanwhile, everyone else is wondering the same thing.

That's one of the reasons I created Monday Night Singing Group.

Not because I think singers need one more space to show up perfectly in.

Actually the opposite!

And I created it because I've seen what happens when singers stop trying to do this journey in isolation.

You become braver, you take more risks.

You trust yourself more.

You start believing you belong.

You discover that many of the struggles you thought were uniquely yours are actually shared by almost everyone.

And perhaps most importantly, you realize you don't have to carry everything alone.

If you've been waiting until you're more confident before joining a group, asking a question, sharing your voice, or letting yourself be supported...

I want to offer another possibility.

Maybe confidence isn't what comes first...maybe connection comes first. And confidence grows from there.

That's certainly how it worked for me.

  Monday Night Singing Group meets June 22nd from 7:00–8:30 PM ET. If you've been craving support, encouragement, accountability, community, or simply a place where you can show up exactly as you are, I'd love to have you join us.

AND....If you've ever felt like singing became all about technique, performance, or getting it "right," Episode 12 of The Joyful Singer Podcast offers a refreshing alternative. Discover a different way to grow as a singer.