Why your voice is stuck.

Picture this:

 

You finally carve out time to sing.

 
You go to the piano, the practice room, or wherever you go to sing and you start to warm up.

 

So far, so good.

 

You think, Maybe today’s a good day.

 

Then you start your song.

 

And suddenly…

 

Everything sounds wrong.

 

Nothing coming out of your mouth is acceptable.

 

(At least it feels that way.)

 

• Too breathy.

 

• Too tight.

 

• Pitchy.

 

• Flat.

 

• Not like the recording.

 

• Not like the singer you wish you sounded like.

 

And then....frustration creeps in.

 

You stop mid-phrase.

 

You don’t even want to keep going.

 

You tell yourself:

→ “Why can’t I just get this?”

→ “I should be better by now.”

→ “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.”

 

Ok, let's hit pause on this scene we all might be a little familiar with. 😅 (I know! I've been here!)

 

Here’s what I want you to know:

 

You’re not struggling with your voice.

 

You’re choking on perfection.

 

When I was getting called back multiple times for Phantom of the opera, I always had to sing Think of me.

 

I sang that song so much. So much in fact, that it started to do that thing where it didn’t feel fun anymore and not so good.

 

I was picking it apart. Focusing on what needed to be better with an energy that isn't doing me any favors.

 

Perfectionist energy.

 

The song then started to feel tense, stuck and caught in my throat.

 

I felt so frustrated.... especially because I was preparing for another callback.

 

I remember lamenting to my husband about it.... he suggested I dance around the room and sing it.

 

Guess what. It worked.

 

It freed it up again.

 

It brought lightness back, it felt like I knew how to sing it again. It didn’t feel stuck anymore.

 

That’s the power PLAY holds for us.  

 

Perfection is what’s lodged in your throat.

 

Perfection is the invisible standard that says:

❌ Don’t you dare crack.

❌ Don’t even think about experimenting.

❌ Don’t sound inexperienced, for the love of all that is good.

❌ And for heaven sakes, don’t be messy.

 

So..... you tense up. And that tension is what is holding you back. It's what was holding me back.

 

And it's not because you’re incapable....it's because you’re trying to get it right.

 

So the fastest way forward is to catch yourself in this moment, to loosen your grip.

 

Every singer you admire?

They have cracked. A lot.

They have sounded weird, tried things that didn’t work.

Sung phrases that fell completely flat.

 

Growth does not happen in polished takes....it happens in the messy middle.

 

And most adult singers never give themselves access to that messy middle.

 

Why? Why is this so hard?

 

Because somewhere along the way we learned that mistakes are dangerous.

 

In school, in performance settings, in spaces where being “good” earned approval...we learned to "get it right."

 

So now when your voice wobbles, your nervous system reacts like something is wrong.

 

But nothing is wrong. Your voice is exploring.

 

And exploration sounds messy.

 

Play is necessary. and this is where my work is different.

 

Technique matters. Of course it does, but if you don’t address the inner critic (the one demanding perfection before you’ve had time to learn!) no amount of exercises will set you free.

 

Inside my work, we don’t just practice technique, we practice self trust and permission.

 

Permission to sound strange, to not have the answers yet.... to crack.

 

Because, listen.... a crack is actually movement.

 

A crack means something released. It let go.

 

When you intentionally allow yourself to sing “badly” on purpose, something incredible happens.

 
Your voice gets curious instead of cautious.

 

Curiosity and play are not fluffy add-ons!!!

 

They are skill accelerators.

 

When you approach a phrase like a scientist instead of a judge, as in...

“What happens if I lighten this?”
“What if I modify this vowel?”
“What if I let it be ugly?” 

 

Guess what!? Your body starts solving the problem for you.

  

So, please, try something bold.

 

And if it cracks, you will laugh and try again.

 

Don't spiral.

No dramatic internal monologue about quitting forever.

 

Just try experimenting. Adjusting. And then continuing.

 

That singer will improve.

 

Not because she’s more talented, but because she’s not choking on perfection and she's able to take risks.

 

If you’ve been stuck in the loop of:

Try → Judge → Tighten → Quit

 

You don’t need a better warmup.

 

You need a different relationship with mistakes.

 

That’s exactly what we do inside the Own It Workshop.

 

It’s a FREE workshop designed to help you recognize your inner critic in real time, understand what she's protecting, and learn how to keep singing anyway.

 

Not by silencing that inner judge.

But by leading yourself through it.

 

If you want to stop walking away from your practice sessions defeated…

 

If you want to keep going after the crack instead of shutting down…

 

If you want your growth to match your desire…

 

Join us.

 

Because your voice isn’t the problem.

 

Perfection is.

 

 

 

(If you take nothing else from this: the thing stopping your progress isn’t a lack of talent! It’s the pressure to be perfect before you’ve had room to experiment.

When you change your relationship with mistakes, your voice changes too.

That’s the work we’re doing inside the Own It Workshop. Did I mention it's FREE!? Grab your seat HERE.)